Cave Rescue

For the 13 young people trapped in a flooded cave in Thailand, the news that a Navy Seal has died en route to them must be devastating. While the world collectively holds their breath, a rethink is now on. The group are trapped in a small pocket. The only possible way out is to swim underwater for about 750m. It isn’t a straight swim, they will have to navigate through some narrow passages in the pitch dark. The risky decision to teach the teens and coach, not only to swim but to use diving equipment may have to aborted following the death of the experienced diver. Time is against them as a monsoon is about to hit and with it more torrential rain. This is truly what nightmares are made of. I have my fingers crossed that by some miracle they can be saved.

Stuck

Lets not lie, how many of you are tsking?

China, sewer grill, leg trapped, firefighters, grinders, public humiliation, buckets of shame…you can fill in the blanks.

Hello, Is That Stephen King?

Worst fear alert. A Chinese woman was found starved to death in an elevator in her apartment building. Evidently, she had been trapped in the lift for a month without anyone knowing. Scratch marks inside suggests she tried endlessly to get out. Many of the residents in the apartment building were away celebrating New Year festivities while the others used a second elevator unaware of the horror unfolding in the other lift.

Knit One , Poo One

A British granny , who went to the loo at a shopping centre , didn’t realise they weren’t in operation and got locked in for four days. Luckily for the 82 year old  she had just bought a ball of wool so she spent her time knitting a scarf for her granddaughter. She also had a nice supply of  imperial mints to keep her spirits up. When shocked  workmen  eventually found her she was merrily knitting away. She did confess that the hand dryer came in handy at night to keep her warm.

Tipping Point

Word of warning to would be masturbators who like to use portable toilets to flash their penis at people. If you piss people off enough someone is bound to tip the goddam porta-potty over with you in it. The flasher was trapped with door side down and had to be rescued. Oh and if you were wondering YES he was covered from head to foot in other people’s poop. WARNING- video gross

Just Say No

One of the bummers about doing drugs is it brings out your inner stupidity. A Florida couple, high on meth and crack, were trapped in a janitor’s cupboard for two days. In a desperate attempt to get out they eventually rang the police who simple opened the door. Seems it wasn’t locked. Police found the closet thanks to the stench of human excrement.

Money Too Tight To Mention

This is what happens when a cash strapped drunk Chinese man attempts to slide under the glass window of an ATM instead of using the door.

Shopping Mall Castaway

An Italian man claims he spent 13 months lost in a Dubai shopping mall unable to find an exit. The dishevelled man appeared with a battered trolley a few days ago  telling confused staff he had been surviving on fast food after he was parted from his friend during a mad shopping rush. Despite raised eyebrows the man was taken to hospital.

Should Have Read The Instructions

Emergency workers in Spain had their hands full trying to free a man’s testicles and penis from a steel sex toy. They had to use a two bladed buzz saw, which required two battery changes, before they could free the dude’s manhood from the metal ring. The rescue was made that little bit harder because his genitals continued to swell.

My Bad?

I heard a calamity in the loungeroom yesterday and discovered that Claudius had somehow found the bird net which was in a cupboard and had managed to drag it into the loungeroom and then proceeded to get caught in it. He looked at me like “what is this damn contraption I found myself trapped in?”

What confounded trap is this?