Hubby Assaulted With Toast And Butter

A British woman is going on trial after she assaulted her hubby with toast and butter. Seems her hubby wasn’t helping out with the chores so, after brooding about it overnight, she threw toast at him. He didn’t react so she grabbed a handful of butter and rubbed it in his face. Well, yes, that got a response … from police. What a jam!!!

Psst I bet the dishes will be piled up in the sink when she gets home…just saying.

Want sauce with that?

Sheep Are Just So Easy

I’m so glad I wasn’t a juror at this bestiality trial. The lot of them were told off by the judge for laughing. Evidently, the chuckles came after the man confessed he had sex with a sheep after a cow rejected his advances.

Want sauce with that?

Michael Jackson Verdict

Tick tock, tick tock, everyone is waiting with bated breath for the verdict in the death of Michael Jackson . I bet Conrad Murray is packing his daks.

UPDATE : The jury have gone home for the weekend after failing to reach a unanimous verdict. We won’t know a thing until Monday. A few restless night sleeps for the doc!

Assange Will Be Wiki-dited To Sweden

Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to Sweden I go. A UK judge has given the thumbs up to extradite WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange to Sweden  to face rape and sexual assault charges. Assange, who claims he is innocent, is convinced he won’t receive a fair trial believing it to be a politically motivated move to get his sorry ass to the US to face the mother of all charges.

Lucky It Wasn’t A Stick Shift!

OMG, a British woman is currently on trial after she was caught  driving and masturbating while overtaking lorries on the M6. Hmm, a multi tasker. It is alleged Miranda Chapman pulled down her pants and undies then went to work pleasuring herself while in full view of the drivers . One of the horrified truck drivers eventually  dobbed her in to police. Her lawyer is claiming she masturbated to “feel better” after hearing that her mentally ill daughter was pregnant and her son was off to Afghanistan. She told the court she wasn’t deliberately driving slow so the truckies could sneak a peek. Awkward.

This Isn’t Spider Solitaire?

Sheez, planting kiddie porn on a work colleagues computer in the hope he’d be sacked and you’d get a promotion is so 2006.Neil Weiner (a handyman) allegedly hated Eddie Thompson (a school caretaker) so much he devised a plan to get him fired. Weiner planted 235 pictures of nasty photos on Thompson’s computer and then rang the cops. Problem? Police couldn’t find evidence Thompson downloaded the child porn from the internet. Cops later traced the phone call to Mr Weiner’s cell phone. Mr Weiner from east London denies all allegations as the trial continues.