Tag Archives: tweets

Vibrating Dildo Gets Wedged

What is worse than getting a dildo stuck up your butt before turning it off? Vibrating all the way to the ER and having to tell doctors to please extract it or at least turn the goddam thing off. The guy also tweeted about his woes during the entire spectacle.

tweet about dildo

 

ouch

ouch

8 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

Can Someone Hand Rupert Murdoch A Mirror

And now for the pot calling the kettle black. Rupert Murdoch tweeted yesterday “Watch Katie Holmes and Scientology story develop. Something creepy, even evil, about these people.” . Geez Rupert, I happened to have watched  you and your son getting grilled at the UK phone hack inquiry and let me tell ya, people in glass houses!!!!

Psst Where are News of the World when you need them, if there ever was someones phone to hack!!!!

2 Comments

Filed under I'm Just Saying !

Kim Jong-Um DEAD????

The rumors of King Jong Um’s death have been greatly exaggerated. Damn you Twitter. For a few hours rumors were tweeting that North Korea’s new dictator leader, Kim Jong Um had been assassinated in Beijing. Seems it was a case of Chinese whispers, he’s still live and kicking. Move on nothing to see here!!!!

1 Comment

Filed under Kim Jong Um, Whoops!

Starbucks And The Sound Of One Hand Clapping

Oh for crying out loud Mister PeePee, masturbating in every New York City Starbucks is no way to go through life. The mystery man has been tweeting his progress is ranking every Starbuck toilet in the city by “boners”! The bathrooms lose points if they are unclean or he gets interrupted. I hope Mister PeePee  doesn’t get calluses , there are 298 Starbucks in the Big Apple.

Psst I checked his Twitter account he only has 60 followers!!!

5 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross, Well I Never

Earthquake Rattles the US

Oh, I suppose I should mention the 5.9 earthquake that sent the East Coast of America rushing for their insurance policies. It was pleasing to note , however, that all mobile phone services came to a grinding halt, denying us all the added bonus of reading instant tweets from terrified first time earthquakerers. Never mind, it gave the  West Coasters something productive to do during office hours by tweeting amusing little quips about those poor unfortunate souls.

My favorite tweet would have to be from @robdelaney

“Devastated to find out that my Uncle Jeremy, who lived near the quake’s epicenter, was found alive and unharmed. (He’s a rapist)”

11 Comments

Filed under I'm Just Saying !

Twisted Tweet!

OK, here’s the thing preschool teacher, do not, and I repeat DO NOT, tweet you want to rape little girls on your first day at work. The substitute teacher from Gothenburg in Sweden tweeted ” …preschool Start 9.30am. Think I will rape 6-7 young girls,” Oh boy, awkward.The principal of the school, who was notified about the disturbing tweets, suspected a certain male teacher and contacted police. So much for his career!

4 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, Friggin Wrong, Well I Never

They Should Have Just Unfollowed

OMG, Twitter has had its first murder after two friends had a 140 character argument on the social networking site. New York cops are currently sifting through Tweet banter trying to piece together why Jameg Blake allegedly killed his friend Kwame Dancy with a shotgun. From what they can gather already, the two friends, who lived in the same apartment block,  fell out over a girl and took their fight onto the micro blogging site. For several weeks they exchanged angry messages with each other while other Twitter followers also joined in the row before Jameg shot Dancy in the neck. The 140 character postings will be used as evidence in the murder trial.  That’s a follow right there.

2 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, End Credit, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never