At First You Don’t Succeed

For crying out loud, how much scorn does this woman possess? A wife who snipped off her hubby’s penis with scissors after she caught him cheating has chopped it off AGAIN after surgeons reattached it. Yep, angry Feng Lung sneaked into the hospital room and chopped it off again and then threw the offending appendage out the window. Unfortunately for hubby a search by police and doctors failed to find his penis . It was suspected a stray cat or dog took off with it. The hubby’s lover, who had visited him in hospital, said she didn’t care he was missing his willy as he has 5 children anywho. As for Feng, she is under arrest….again.

Double Hitman Fail

Oh for crying out loud mister, give it up already. A 65 year old man who was jailed for attempting to hire a hitman to bump off his neighbor (and ex business partner) has been caught trying to do it again whilst behind bars. When word spread through the jail that he was looking for an inmate to finish off his arch enemy, a plain clothes policeman was set up as bait. Seems it was legit because he offered the cop $10,000. Sheez, what the hell did the neighbor do?

Didn’t Learn The First Time

You know what I hate? When you get your checkbook stolen by a woman who deliberately bumps into you at a grocery store and then when you stop to ask directions to the police station another friggin thief leans into your car and steals your purse. Damn you all to hell. Poor 72 year old Harriet Sweger did not have a good day

Psst Pennsylvania

If It’s A Lawyer Does It Count?

Could have been worse

You know what I hate? When the criminal you are defending stabs you in the neck with a pencil. You know what I really hate? That he did the same thing to his previous lawyer! Joshua Monson, who is facing a murder trial, used a courtroom pencil in both stabbings. He is now waiting a mental health evaluation. Hmm,a bit late for that!

Wanker In The Workplace

OMG, OMG, OMG, Michael Lallana has been charged with jerking off into a female colleague’s bottle of water TWICE and each time the poor soul drank it. Ewh, ewh, ewh. It is believed Mr Lallana snuck into the woman’s office and masturbated into her water bottle which was on the desk. She told police after drinking from the bottle she had felt sick and had thrown it away. The second time it happened she kept the bottle and had it tested. I suspect she went a little pale when told the water contained semen. After a DNA check of staff  Mr Lallana was arrested.

Girl Uses the “C” Word Twice on National TV

OK, sweetie, you may be an accomplice to a bashing but don’t use that word of TV, FFS!

What Are The Odds?

I am hoping this is just a friggin bizarre coincidence but a man who lost his hand after being dragged by a commuter train in California two weeks ago has been hit by yet another train. This time the man claimed to have fallen from the platform onto the tracks and was hit by a northbound Metrolink. Not to worry the second hit was not near so bad, he retains his limbs.

Psst Hmm, might want to consider taking the bus?