Tag Archives: Uganda

Oh My Lord

A woman in Uganda has been told to stop having children by doctors. Reason? She has given birth to 38 of them. Yep, 38 children by the time she was 36. That is like IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII III. That is a friggin long line to use the bathroom. Ms. Nabatanzi would have had 44 but sadly she lost 8 at childbirth. Recently her hubby up and left, leaving her to support her enormous brood alone. The older children all chip in to help but she struggles every day to put food on the table. Authorities have now banned her from having any more.

PSST: How does she remember their names? There must be a whole lot of “hey you”.

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Filed under Friggin Scary, Well I Never

Hide Your Glee DVDs Boys

Oh my, the gay community might want to be high tailing it out of Uganda ASAP. Seems the government is planning to pass what they say is a “Christmas gift” to the people, and by Christmas gift they mean harsh jail sentences for homosexuals. The zero tolerance stance has been condemned by the international community who are threatening to cut aid to the African country.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Thanks For Nothing

Might Want To Cancel Travel Plans To Uganda

Just when you thought it was safe to go to Uganda, officials have announced another deadly outbreak of the Ebola virus. So far the contagious disease has claimed 14 lives. If you happen to be in the vicinity here’s what to do, avoid shaking hands, casual sex or do-it-yourself burials because it’s  transmitted by close contact and there is NO treatment.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary

Being Gay In Uganda Sucks

Oh boy, seems Uganda haven’t really caught on to the whole gay rights movement thingy. In fact, you might say they haven’t embraced it at all, judging by the front page of their newspaper. The feature story lists the “top 100” homosexuals in Uganda with a banner reading “Hang Them”. Oooh, it also includes their photos, names and addresses. Hmm, might want to sleep with one eye open boys! So far 4 of the men on the list have been attacked and the 96 others are in hiding. Last year a Ugandan legislator tried to introduce a bill which would allow the death penalty for homosexuals but it was shelved following international uproar.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Friggin Methanol

OK, here’s the thing bootleg man, using methanol in your brew is gonna get you in big doodah especially if it ends up killing 22 people and making 300 really ill. Dude, how much of the stuff did you make? Indonesian police have arrested the unnamed man who had been selling his homemade liquor for $1.40 a litre. Hmm and not to be outdone authorities in Uganda are still trying to find the culprit who’s homemade gin  has managed to kill 80 people.Yes, his lethal brew also contained methanol.

Psst Methanol is usually used as a solvent or in antifreeze.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never, Whoops!

Pastor Shows Gay Porn In Church

Love Thy Neighbor, but just not that way!

So you’re a homophobic pastor from Uganda what’s the best way to get your message across? Show gay porn that’s what. Martin Ssempa , the Christian that wants to impose the death penalty for some gays, showed the pornography during his church service and plans to continue to do so.  Yes, the pastor is either on a crusade  or is hiding a deep dark yearning. Thank goodness he isn’t against child pornography.

Psst And the lesson today is you just don’t go on your knees to pray!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Airwaves Banned To Witch Doctors

Uganda bans witch doctor ads on radio

You'll regret it!!

Message to all witch-doctors promoting their healing powers over the radio, stop it, you are breaching the 1957 Witchcraft Act and “…are promoting witchcraft-related activities to the detriment of Uganda’s integrity”. Hmm, so says the Ugandan government’s ethics minister James Buturo. They are hoping to stamp out the dangerous art of witchcraft by stopping the airwaves broadcasting witch-doctor ads. Geez, wouldn’t have happened in Idi’s days!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, They Live Among Us !