When you are on holidays in the UK and get trapped by the incoming sea while photographing sea anemones and you don’t know Britain’s emergency help number, what do you do people, what do you do? Well, if you’re American marine biologist Liz Francis you ring 911 in the US and get the dispatcher to put you through to the UK police who then organized a rescue team. Ta-da!
Psst OK US dispatchers, expect to be getting a bucket load of nuisance calls from overseas now!
A pet rat in the UK set his friggin cage on fire after he nicked a smoldering cigarette from his owner’s ashtray and took it to bed. The rat called No Name has a habit of stealing things and putting it in his cage, which probably accounts for all the empty beer cans and litter he has accumulated. Luckily the fire only caused minor damage to the house but the owner, Nelly Banks,says No Name will be in the doghouse for some time.
OMG, a British woman is currently on trial after she was caught driving and masturbating while overtaking lorries on the M6. Hmm, a multi tasker. It is alleged Miranda Chapman pulled down her pants and undies then went to work pleasuring herself while in full view of the drivers . One of the horrified truck drivers eventually dobbed her in to police. Her lawyer is claiming she masturbated to “feel better” after hearing that her mentally ill daughter was pregnant and her son was off to Afghanistan. She told the court she wasn’t deliberately driving slow so the truckies could sneak a peek. Awkward.
Hey good news for the Madhatters, Mad Cow Disease is almost eradicated from the UK. Note Julie, I used ALMOST!
Two cows in a paddock having a chat. One cow says to the udder “Hmm moooo, did you hear about mad cow disease?” . The other cow says “Who cares, I’m a tractor.”
A big shout out to British soldier Lance Corporal Luke Reeson who was shot in the face by the Taliban but simply spat out the bullet and walked 2 miles for medical help. The bullet evidently bounced off his body armor went up his lower cheek (breaking his jaw) before ending up in his mouth. Reeson is expected to make a full recovery.
OK, this is a tad creepy…OK a lot creepy. A 41 year old lab technician has been found guilty of soaking a dusk mask with chloroform and then giving it to a 17 year old student in order to knock her out? Hell yes he succeeded and even chemically burned her face. Jared Shreeve of course denied any knowledge of having used the evil chemical but no one believed him. Guilty. Hmm, no reason was given as to why he chloroformed the girl but I am guessing it wasn’t to watch her sleep!!!!