Tag Archives: UK

Smart Thinking

When you are on holidays in the UK and get trapped by the incoming sea while photographing sea anemones and you don’t know Britain’s emergency help number, what do you do people, what do you do? Well, if you’re American marine biologist Liz Francis you ring 911 in the US and get the dispatcher to put you through to the UK police who then organized a rescue team. Ta-da!

Psst OK US dispatchers, expect to be getting a  bucket load of  nuisance calls from overseas now!

7 Comments

Filed under Friggin Awesome, Well I Never

Forget Something?

My bad?

OK, here’s the thing ex Libyan Foreign Minister, when defecting to the UK  it might have been a good idea to take your wife friggin with you. Musa Kusa’s other half has been seized by GDaffy’s forces and is currently being interrogated by “internal security” . Hmm, in other words probably gang raped. Meanwhile Kusa is R&R-ing in a safe house in Britain.

9 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!

Porn Gone .Com

I guess it's Discovery channel then!

Nanny State are planning to block all internet porn. Yes, you heard me correctly ALL internet porn.  The only way people in the UK will be able to access porn will be via an opt in system (which no doubt will be monitored).Hmm, so what will the Pommes do for entertainment? Dear god,  they might have to go back to having real sex! Gord blimey. Let the censorship begin.

5 Comments

Filed under Friggin Nanny State, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Dirty Rat

A pet rat in the UK set his friggin cage on fire after he nicked a smoldering cigarette from his owner’s ashtray and took it to bed. The rat called No Name has a habit of stealing things and putting it in his cage, which probably accounts for all the empty beer cans and litter he has accumulated. Luckily the fire only caused minor damage to the house but the owner, Nelly Banks,says No Name will be in the doghouse for some time.

3 Comments

Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Wildlife, Whoops!

Lucky It Wasn’t A Stick Shift!

OMG, a British woman is currently on trial after she was caught  driving and masturbating while overtaking lorries on the M6. Hmm, a multi tasker. It is alleged Miranda Chapman pulled down her pants and undies then went to work pleasuring herself while in full view of the drivers . One of the horrified truck drivers eventually  dobbed her in to police. Her lawyer is claiming she masturbated to “feel better” after hearing that her mentally ill daughter was pregnant and her son was off to Afghanistan. She told the court she wasn’t deliberately driving slow so the truckies could sneak a peek. Awkward.

6 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, How Embarrassing, Well I Never, Whoops!

Mad Cow Disease

Hey good news for the Madhatters, Mad Cow Disease is almost eradicated from the UK. Note Julie,  I used ALMOST!

Two cows in a paddock having a chat. One cow says to the udder “Hmm moooo, did you hear about mad cow disease?” . The other cow says “Who cares, I’m a tractor.”

3 Comments

Filed under Friggin Awesome, Friggin Wildlife, Well I Never

Man of Steel

A big shout out to British soldier Lance Corporal Luke Reeson who was shot in the face by the Taliban but simply spat out the bullet and walked 2 miles for medical help. The bullet evidently bounced off his body armor went up his lower cheek (breaking his jaw) before ending up in his mouth. Reeson is expected to make a full recovery.

4 Comments

Filed under Friggin Awesome, Well I Never

Friggin Chloroform

OK, this is a tad creepy…OK a lot creepy. A 41 year old lab technician has been found guilty of soaking a dusk mask with chloroform and then giving it to a 17 year old student in order to knock her out? Hell yes he succeeded and even chemically burned her face.  Jared Shreeve of course denied any knowledge of having used the evil chemical but no one believed him. Guilty. Hmm, no reason was given as to why he chloroformed the girl but I am guessing it wasn’t to watch her sleep!!!!

21 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Scary, Whoops!

Goldfish Laws From Hell

We got rights!

Did you know it is illegal to sell a goldfish to a child under 16 in the UK? Well Joan Higgins (66) from Major Pet Shop in Sale, England, discovered it out the hard way. She was fined $1,056 and ordered to wear an ankle bracelet for a week as a curfew punishment after selling a little fish to a 14 year old. Her son Mark, who also works at the pet shop, was slapped with a $1,300 fine and given 120 hours of community service.

Psst Duncan, you keep quiet, ya hear!

10 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Councils, I'm Just Saying !, Join the skeptic club!, Well I Never

Friggin Anti-tailgating Flame Thrower

OK here’s the thing scooter man who hates being tailgated, don’t be putting a flame thrower that shoots 15ft of fire on the rear of your bike and then tell the press. Hello, you know Nanny State won’t be pleased. Colin Furze modified his scooter to allow for an anti-tailgating flame thrower that could be activated by a flick of a switch. Unfortunately the Lincolnshire police, who got wind of it, arrested him and charged him with firearm offences.

9 Comments

Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Hilarious, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never