Tag Archives: united airlines

Airline Failure

vomitYou have a uber time in Hawaii, you get on plane, find your seat and get ready to make yourself comfortable when you reach for the blanket in the seat back pocket and then ….. oh …ewh… WTF? A couple on a United Airlines flight were more than just horrified when they discovered that a sick bag full of vomit had been wrapped in a blanket and put in their seat pocket. When they handed it to the flight attendant the vomit spilled on them. Despite being offered different seats they spent the entire flight smelling of someone else’s upchuck.  Oh dear lord, I think I would want to pass on the inflight meal. The airline apologised on behalf of the lazy bastards who failed to clean the plane prior to take-off.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross

Coffee Break

Great, another thing to worry about when flying. A United Airlines flight had to be diverted to Toronto after the pilot accidentally spilled coffee all over the friggin control panel. Not only did it make one hell of a mess it also sent the navigation and communication system into a complete meltdown, sending out friggin  distress signals including the big one….7500… a hijacking!!!!  Sheez, lucky the clumsy pilot was able convince airport authorities it was all just one big misunderstanding.

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!

Dumbass Diplomat!

Oh for goodness sakes Qatari diplomat, firstly there is no friggin smoking on flights in the United States and secondly trying to extinguish something that vaguely resembles fire is gonna get you in trouble no matter who you are (oh, except if you are a diplomat!). The incident happened last night on a United Airlines flight from Washington to Denver. The FBI are still trying to determine if the diplomat, Mohammed al Modadihad, been smoking in the toilets or was attempting to ignite something. Two fighter jets followed the plane until it safely landed in Denver on an isolated airstrip (just  in case of a kaboom!).  Hmm, whatever the outcome seems our little mischief maker has full diplomatic immunity.

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Scary, I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!

Breastfeeding Can Be Deadly

OMG, a woman who fell asleep while breastfeeding her 4 week old baby girl has accidentally smothered her to death. Cabin crew on the United Airlines flight heading to Kuwait were alerted after hearing the mother’s screams in business class. Despite a doctor being on board he was unable to resuscitate the baby. Police said “This appears to be a tragic accident. The girl comes from a loving family. Her mum was going to Kuwait to show her to relatives.”

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Whoops!