Tag Archives: US

Pregnant Pause

Attention US loons, if you are thinking of purchasing cheap condoms, just be advised they maybe those counterfeit ones from Puerto Rico. And by “those” I mean the ones that probably contain cyanide , arsenic, mercury, lead, urine or rat droppings …just saying. Evidently, they are being shipped from China to Puerto Rico then smuggled over the border to the US. Oh and they aren’t likely to protect you from scary diseases or pregnancy.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World

Twister Season

Yellow-RibbonCommunity Service Annoucement –  It is deadly twister season in the US once again, so PLEASE stay safe Midwest Loons. Thoughts and prayers.

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !

Hey, Stop Pushing In I Was Here First

Federal Aviation Administration will be closing 149 air traffic control towersThis is not going to end well. The Federal Aviation Administration will be closing 149 air traffic control towers at small airports across the US. The airports will all remain open but instead of ground controllers directing air traffic,  pilots will be coordinating takeoffs and landings among themselves over a shared radio frequency. Hmm, the producers of Air Crash Investigation will be pleased.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

US Braces For Mother of All Storms

The mother of all storms is heading straight for the US and millions have been told to evacuate. From New York to Washington to Boston, people have been told to get the hell out of its way.  No one knows exactly what will  happen when Hurricane Sandy smashes into two other nasty weather systems but experts predict massive rain dumps (over 30cm), howling  winds of over 80m/h and  a deadly wall of water up to 3.3m high. Thoughts and prayers to all in its wake. Stay safe.

This is what Hurricane Sandy looks like from space …

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !

A Star Is Deported

Praq Rado, an Albanian born actor who had been living illegally in the US for 11 years, was on his way to the premier of a movie about his life in America ( “Dreaming America” ), when he was nabbed by Federal immigration officers. Oh dear, now he is waiting to be deported. Well, on the bright side he now has content for a sequel.

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Filed under Sore Loser, Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!

Might Want to Keep Your Mouth Shut

North Korea is boasting that they have the capability of striking America with “a single blow”. Hmm, the last dumbass who said that had the shit blown out of his country  and a noose wrapped around his neck. This statement follows Monday’s claim that North Korea could reduce Seoul’s government to ashes. Steady on young Kim Jong Um, you haven’t managed to get anything up yet, least of all a rocket.

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Filed under Kim Jong Um

I’m A Prostitute Thanks To McDonalds

Holy frivolous lawsuit Batman. A woman in the US is suing McDonald’s because she claims their crappy wages and pathetic worker support forced her into a life of prostitution. Oh and by the way she is also suing her ex hubby who was the owner of the store in which she worked and who later sacked her. Hmm, so in her suit she claims she was wrongfully sacked and that the action forced her to seek employment in a brothel. Oh wait there’s more, she also claims McDonald’s crappy overall management allowed hubby to operate a prostitution service from his franchise. The best bit is she married her hubby AFTER she started working as a prostitute. Come on, come on, please let Judge Judy get the case….pleeeeaaaassssse!!!!

Want sauce with that?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Top Ten Bed Bug Cities of America

OK loons, I know you are itching to know ……

10. Richmond/Petersburg
09. New York
08. Washington DC
07. Dallas/Fort Worth, Texas
06. Columbus, Ohio
05. Los Angeles
04. Denver
03. Detroit
02. Chicago

and drum roll please, the top bed bug city in all of the US is CINCINNATI.

Sorry IzaakMak 😦

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary

Rogue Soldier Kills 16

An American soldier is believed responsible for the carnage in an Afghanistan village which has left 16 dead, including women and children. The rogue soldier went from house to house at 3am shooting indiscriminately at people. The soldier has since been arrested but it leaves the US military with an enormous diplomatic nightmare.Thoughts and prayers for the Afghan community.

 

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World

Worst Neighborhoods in the US

OK loons, here’s a list of  neighborhoods you pray to hell you don’t ever breakdown in.

The  ten most dangerous US neighborhoods

10. Church Hill in Richmond, Virginia
9.  Route 352/Scyene Rd, Dallas , Texas
8.  Forest Ave./41st St, Kansas City, Moussouri
7.  Warford St./Mount Olive Rd, Memphis, Tennessee
6.  Bales Ave./30th St, Kansas City, Moussouri
5.  North Ave./Belair Rd, Baltimore,
4.  Beaver St./Broad St, Jacksonville, Florida
3.  7th Ave./North River Dr, Miami, Florida
2.  State St./Garfield Blvd, Chicago, Illinois

and drum roll please, the most dangerous neighborhood in the US is

1. Central Pky./Liberty St, Cincinnati, Ohio …. where the chances of becoming a victim this year are 1 in 4 . Sleep with one eye open Bearman!!!!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never