Feet up everyone. A South Korean woman has been attacked by her robot vacuum cleaner. The rogue machine waited until the woman was snoozing before making its move. With stealth the VC zipped over to her and sucked up her hair refusing to let go. A struggle ensued but the VC wasn’t about to give up. Eventually she managaged to ring emergency services, who rushed over and found the evil robot attached to her head. No word on the fate of the rogue vacuum cleaner but the woman will no longer be taking naps on the floor while vicious cleaner appliances are around.
Tag Archives: vacuum cleaner
Worst nightmare – a vacuum cleaner salesman doing a demo at your home. Well, not for autistic vacuum cleaner obsessed teen Dylan Greene. His dream came true when his mom contacted Kirby vacuums (Dylan’s fav ) and organised a live demo for his birthday. Dylan’s love of the dust sucker means he spends hours a day watching videos about the different Kirby’s. After the salesman went through his sales pitch Dylan was given a brand new Kirby.
Sheez, imagine getting a reconditioned vacuum cleaner for Chrissy only to discover a) it’s a friggin refurbished present b) its a friggin vacuum cleaner and c) it was stuffed with $280,000 worth of crystal methamphetamine and cocaine. Wisconsin police believe smugglers put the drugs in the box after the machine was reconditioned in Juarez, Mexico. Unfortunately for the drug cartel, someone failed to pick up the stash when it arrived in the States and ended up on a shelf in a department store in Wisconsin.
OK for goodness sakes, 94 year old Dale Warren Graham has been arrested after he was found in a stranger’s garage with a vacuum cleaner attached to the front of his pants. Yes, it was friggin running. Urgh, masturbating with a vacuum can’t be good. After a three week investigation the elderly man now faces charges of public sexual indecency, aggravated assault and child molestation. Ohh, did I forget to tell you he has been accused of inappropriately touching young children. Life sucks!
OK, this story seemed to have skipped main media news groups so it’s a few weeks old (OK a few months) but bizarre News reported, a British dwarf accidentally glued his penis to a vacuum cleaner during a performance at the ‘Edinburgh Festival’. Ouch. Evidently part of Daniel Blackner’s (aka “Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf”) act was to pull a vacuum cleaner across stage using his penis. However at some stage something broke on the machine and the Demon Dwarf had to use an extra strong glue to fix it prior to a performance. Unfortunately, the impatient Captain Dan didn’t wait for the glue to dry entirely and viola, he spent an embarrassing hour at the Edinburgh Royal Infirmary having it removed from his manhood.