Tag Archives: vacuum cleaner

Vacuum Cleaner That Really Sucks

hairFeet up everyone. A South Korean woman has been attacked by her robot vacuum cleaner. The rogue machine waited until the woman was snoozing before making its move. With stealth the VC zipped over to her and sucked up her hair refusing to let go. A struggle ensued but the VC wasn’t about to give up. Eventually she managaged to ring emergency services, who rushed over and found the evil robot attached to her head. No word on the fate of the rogue vacuum cleaner but the woman will no longer be taking naps on the floor while vicious cleaner appliances are around.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, That's Gotta Hurt

A Vacuum Cleaner Story That Doesn’t Suck

Worst nightmare – a vacuum cleaner salesman doing a demo at your home. Well, not for autistic vacuum cleaner obsessed teen Dylan Greene. His dream came true when his mom contacted Kirby vacuums (Dylan’s fav ) and organised a live demo for his birthday. Dylan’s love of the dust sucker means he spends hours a day watching videos about the different Kirby’s. After the salesman went through his sales pitch Dylan was given a brand new Kirby.

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Filed under Friggin Awesome

That Really Sucks

You got me a hot vacuum cleaner?

Sheez, imagine getting a reconditioned vacuum cleaner for Chrissy only to discover a) it’s a friggin refurbished present b) its a friggin vacuum cleaner and  c) it was stuffed with $280,000 worth of crystal methamphetamine and cocaine. Wisconsin police believe smugglers put the drugs in the box after the machine was reconditioned in Juarez, Mexico. Unfortunately for the drug cartel, someone failed to pick up the stash when it arrived in the States and ended up on a shelf in a department store in Wisconsin.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Don’t Try This At Home

If I did this to my kitty  he would rip my friggin face off….

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Filed under Friggin Wildlife, I'm Just Saying !

That Sucks

OK for goodness sakes, 94 year old Dale Warren Graham has been arrested after he was found in a stranger’s garage with a vacuum cleaner attached to the front of his pants. Yes, it was friggin running. Urgh, masturbating with a vacuum can’t be good. After a three week investigation the elderly man now faces charges of public sexual indecency, aggravated assault and child molestation. Ohh, did I forget to tell you he has been accused of  inappropriately touching young children. Life sucks!

16 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never, Whoops!

Big Eyed Deer

No way I am doing her dirty work, sheez!

You know, if all you have handy is a vacuum cleaner and a garbage can to fight off a deer…you just go for it girl. An Iowa woman had to think quick when a frightened deer, who had just dodged a shit load of traffic, jumped through the window of her apartment and began destroying the inside of her home. Thank god she had the good sense to fight off traumatized Bambi with some household appliances. Shamwow! Eventually someone opened a door and the deer took off, traumatized by the thought of having to clean up its own mess, no doubt!

Psst Just turning on the vacuum cleaner would have been suffice, if my cat is anything to go by.

13 Comments

Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Friggin Wildlife, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

That Sucks!

I don't know, something about a vacuum cleaner!

I don't know, something about a vacuum cleaner!

OK, this story seemed to have skipped main media news groups so it’s a few weeks old (OK a few months) but bizarre News reported, a British dwarf accidentally glued his penis to a vacuum cleaner during a performance at the ‘Edinburgh Festival’. Ouch. Evidently part of Daniel Blackner’s (aka “Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf”) act was to pull a vacuum cleaner across stage using his penis. However at some stage something broke on the machine and the Demon Dwarf had to use an extra strong glue to fix it prior to a performance. Unfortunately, the impatient Captain Dan didn’t wait for the glue to dry entirely  and viola, he spent an embarrassing hour at the Edinburgh Royal Infirmary having it removed from his manhood.

3 Comments

Filed under How Embarrassing, Sore Loser, Whoops!