Tag Archives: valentines day

Happy Valentine’s Day Except For…

When British dude Duncan saw tickets to the Red Hot Chilli Peppers going cheap he thought it would be a great Valentine’s Day pressie for his girlfriend. He bought the $53 tickets and even plane tickets to Belfast for the romantic gesture. Imagine the couple’s surprise when they were seated at the Red Hot Chill PIPERS concert. A bagpipe cover band…woohoo….is there even such a thing? Apparently there is!!!

 

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious

Sex Cancelled Due To Cannibalism Fears

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How did I miss this Craig?
OMG, poor Kong saved himself a bucket load of embarrassment after the Seattle Aquarium cancelled his Valentine’s Day mating session in front of visitors. Yes, every year on Valentine’s Day people can view octopus sex. Yep, you heard me, octopus sex. Tentacles thrashing everywhere!!!! But unfortunately for Kong, he was too big for the lovely lady octopuses and staff  feared Kong might eat them, as he is more than double their size. However, there was relief all around as  Kong lived to see another day…. evidently an octopus dies soon after sex. Go Kong!!!!

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Filed under Friggin Wildlife, Well I Never

Donate on Valentine’s Day

Roll up, roll up, and dump your ex’s crap at the Goodwill in Florida. Yep, in a new campaign the recycle charity group are encouraging people to clear out their ex-lover’s stuff from their closets and start afresh for Valentine’s Day. Hmm, that’s if you haven’t already thrown them and their stuff to the curb .

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Filed under Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Roaches are Forever

Stan. And you?

Guess what Loons? For a mere 10 bucks The Bronx Zoo will let you name one of their 58,000 hissing roaches. Come on, it’s a Valentine Day promotion and besides, they’re from Madagascar. But wait, there’s more… for an additional $15 you can have a hand painted chocolate roach sent to you with a verification of name certificate. Not sold? Hmm, how’s about for $35 you get to name a roach couple and get two choccy roaches sent? Sheez, tough crowd!

Psst Just in case you change your mind you can purchase them here at The Bronx Zoo.

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, Friggin Wildlife, I'm Just Saying !

Valentine’s Day Unplugged

Valentine’s Day is going to be good for some … just not her. Half way through I got distracted by what was stuck on her wall and what was reflecting in the mirror.

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious, You Go Girl!

No Love Here

Yeah, cancel the roses.

Sorry ladies of Iran, Valentine’s Day has been officially banned. Yep, it’s a Western scum dog celebration that has no place under Islamic law.So don’t be expecting no choccies, flowers or cards . To all the men, you’re officially off the hook!

Want sauce with that?

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Third Strike You’re Out!

Strike 3!

Bless, a Pennsylvanian woman who hit her 25 year old son with a Louisville Slugger  said “I brought him into this world and I’ll take him out of this world.” Linda Newstrom came home drunk on Valentine’s Day and one thing lead to another and she ending up booting her son out of the house. As he was packing she came at him with a baseball bat, connecting on the third strike. Foul ball!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Sore Loser, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

Valentine’s Day Sting

The candyman can...

Those cheeky devils in Maryland made 15 arrests over Valentine’s Day by getting a police officer to pretend to be a candy delivery worker. Brilliant. Here’s how it all went down, Sergeant Tanya Pfaltzgraff called a group of suckers, who had unserved warrants. She then told them they had been given a Valentine’s present and they needed to know a good time for it to be delivered. Once a time was set Lt. Jennifer Gilbert-Duran then posed as a driver for Keystone Candigrams (hmm, I wonder if the “keystone” pun was intended?) and busted them the moment they signed for their pressie. The biggest hoot about the sting operation was they each made a scheduled time for their own arrest.

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Hilarious, How Embarrassing, Sore Loser

Hope Floats But Bleach Burns

OMG Sandra Bullock, far too much information. Seems like Sandra Bullock’s  Valentines present to hubby Jesse James got a little overheated. As a surprise she decided to shave her pubic hair into a heart shape and dye it pink. What could possibly go wrong Miss Congeniality? Hmm,well it seems the bleach burned like a bitch and the dye went a nasty color. Sounds like she pretty much spent February 14th soaking it in an ice bucket.

Psst This is the kind of image I just don’t want to have!

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Filed under How Embarrassing, I'm Just Saying !, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

Chocolate Would Have Been Fine

OK it was manure, but you get the drift!

Nothing says “I love you” better than a big pile of shit. Hmm, well so says Minnesota farmer Bruce Andersland who spent two days making a half a mile heart out of manure for his wife of 37 years. I bet she was impressed. Yes, Bruce grabbed his tractor and shit spreader and made the symbol of love in his snow covered field as a Valentine’s Day gift. His wife Beth said it was the biggest and most original Valentine she had ever received. Here’s hoping he doesn’t try to top it!

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, Friggin Gross, Friggin Hilarious