Tag Archives: vermont

The Anxiety Just Got A Whole Lot Bigger

It was a simple plan. Camouflage yourself and your sled in winter white and drag your 200lb of illegal Xanax through the snow and across the Canadian border into Vermont. The French Canadian nearly pulled off the smuggle but he made one fatal mistake. He followed the railway line and tripped the sensors. Now he will be spending a few years behind bars and a whopping fine. Hmm, might need a Xanax or two now.

3 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World

Stench Identified

Goat manure blamed for Vermont stinkYou know what I hate? When a pile of goat poo spontaneously combusts and ponks up a town in Vermont. Welcome to Windsor …OMG,  what the hell is that?

6 Comments

Filed under Friggin Gross, Whoops!

Don’t Try This At Home

OK, here’s the thing Vermont prankster, when punking your friend make sure it really is an air gun and not a friggin rifle. A Vermont man is in deep shit after he decided to wake up his friend by shooting an air gun at him. Only prob was it was actually a loaded rifle. Fail. Now the friend is on manslaughter charges. This will not look good on his resume, I repeat, NOT FRIGGIN GOOD!

1 Comment

Filed under End Credit, I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!

Extreme Cat Ladies

Oh for the love of Dr Doolittle, two women in Vermont have been found living in two cars with 77 cats. Yep, 77. Apparently the women owned only two of the felines and were looking for homes for the other 75. One cat was found dead in the trunk while others were covered in feces. Hmm, maybe that’s why they were having trouble finding homes for them! That’s an animal cruelty charge right there.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross, Friggin Wildlife, Well I Never

What’s a bit of Tritium With Your Chinese Fluoride?

Anyone want a glass of water?

OK, no need to panic people, but could the residents of Vernon please report any unusual sightings of animals, with say, three heads! Oh yeah and while we are on the subject of Vernon, officials of their nuclear power plant say they have finally stopped the radioactive substance, tritium, leaking into the groundwater. Never you mind, they say there is absolutely no detectable levels of the radioactive stuff in the Connecticut River or the drinking water wells (yet) despite two leaky pipes causing the tritium to seep into the soil and groundwater. Oh deary me, the big old scare was caused by a clogged drain.

12 Comments

Filed under Friggin Scary, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!

Friggin Clogged Toilets

The latest daddy dearest story of woe. Nazeih Hammouri from Vermont has been arrested after allegedly stabbing his son in the stomach with a corkscrew after a hissy fit over a clogged toilet.Ah shit!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

One Can Of School Girl Spray

Hurts huh!

Hurts huh!

OK, lets get this out of the way for starters, what the hell is a can of “bear spray” people? Because whatever one of those is, it shouldn’t be on a bus with a bunch of girls. The giggly schoolgirls were heading back to Vermont Summer Camp after a day of swimming when the counselor picked up that dreaded can of bear spray (super size me pepper spray) and boom….it went off. Hmm, it must have been one hell of a can of whip ass for bears because 15 girls had to be taken to hospital. Hmm, so it is a multi purpose spray then? And pray tell why are cops using tasers when they can have bear spray?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Thanks For Nothing, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!