Tag Archives: Victoria

Green Walking Woman Tribute

green_ladyOK, is it me Loons or is the latest “tribute” to the first woman elected to local government in Victoria (in 1920) kinda crap. The tribute is…wait for it… the replacement of the “green walking man” signal with a “green walking woman”, who looks like friggin Mary Poppins. And NO, she will only appear at one set of traffic lights for a period of 12 months. I’m thinking Councillor Mary Rogers should at least get a statue … not a yes it is OK for you to “walk” now tribute. Please tell me this wasn’t thought up by a group of men….please?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Victoria Rocks

Holy earthquake Melbourne. Seems Australia isn’t entirely earthquake proof as Victoria rocks to a 5.3. The quake struck at around 9pm and has left everyone a little rattled. No word on injuries or damage.

Psst It’s the largest shake in 109 years.

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Filed under Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

What happened to democracy?

Called the gaming minister a wimp....and you?

The Victorian Parliament of Australia is about to pass legislation which will make it a criminal offence to assault, obstruct, hinder, threaten, abuse, insult or intimidate Gaming Minister Michael O’Brien. The reason? The Victorian government feel it’s “reasonably necessary to respect the rights and reputation of the minister and authorised persons”. Hmm, yeah,isn’t  that’s the same reasoning as China and North Korea?  Anywho, once the law is passed  it won’t be long before every minister in Australia will be seeking the same privilege. Bye, bye democracy, accountability and freedom of speech .

Psst If found guilty of an insult, that’s a $12,000 fine right there!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, Well I Never

Duck!

Oh my, nothing worse than a protester getting shot in the face hours after the opening of a controversial duck hunting season in Victoria. Julia Symons was waist deep in Lake Buloke when kaboom, a duck hunter’s pellet missed a low flying bird and hit her right in the face . The pellet took out one of her teeth and injured her face and hand.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wildlife, I'm Just Saying !, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

Speedkills

Stand up and take a bow good people of Speed in Victoria. The locals have agreed to change their tiny town’s name to SpeedKills to encourage people to slow down on country roads. Victoria’s Transport Accident Commission (TAC) approached the town with an offer they couldn’t refuse, if they managed to get 10,000 Facebook users to support the name change they would donate $10,000 to the local Lions Club. Guess what ? They now have over 30,000 supporters and TAC have doubled the offer.  Even local farmer Phil Down has got into the spirit and has changed his name to Phillip Slowdown. The name change will be for one month.

Want sauce with that?

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Bungling Bakery Burglar

Oh for crying out loud son, get a job. A young Victorian man made a real mess of a bakery burglary after he climbed through a skylight into a locked storeroom and couldn’t get out. Every slap stick move was caught on surveillance camera. Oh boy, it’s painful to watch. Anywho,  he eventually handed himself into police and has now been charged.

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Hilarious, Whoops!

Friggin Locust Egg Beds

OMG, whilst I’m on the theme of Armageddon, farmers in rural Victoria have unearthed beds of locust eggs some 15m long. Plague! Plague! Plague! So far the Department of Primary Industries has had 430 reports of locust egg beds.If they hatch it will be a second generation locust nightmare. The area is only just recovering from the initial plague. So why hasn’t Hollywood got wind of this?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, Friggin Wildlife, Well I Never

What Justice?

OMG, you are better off to be a criminal in Australia, not only are the sentences pathetic but you can also spend your time in prison suing the state for negligence and receiving a shit load of compo. Alan Brown, who has never had a driver’s license,  has had more than 100 convictions for drink driving, has killed two people in separate accidents and is currently serving 14 years for the death of his latest victim, Margaret Loveday. In 2007 a Loddon Prison garden shed roller door accidentally closed on him so he sued the State of Victoria for negligence and won, claiming he not only suffered a painful injury but also suffered psychological damaged to boot. Guess how much he was awarded? $120,000. Hmm, I wonder how much the victims of his crimes received?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Chicken Shit

The shit is falling, the shit is falling!

It wasn’t an Aussie pilot’s finest hour when he crashed his plane into a huge friggin pile of chicken shit. Ben Buckley was  re-enacting the first powered controlled flight in his Aussie designed and built plane when it when it went up and then down before skidding into a 20 tonne pile of chicken manure at the edge of the runway…tada!

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Face Off

Imagine having every single bone in your face broken after falling from a four story building. Worse still, imagine, after having major reconstructive surgery, you go out to a nightclub and get glassed in the face. Hmm, Josh Filbay from Victoria knows the feeling. In August Filbay not only broke every bone in his face, he lost every tooth, broke his kneecaps and smashed up his wrists after falling from a building in Belfast. Saturday he went out to a Melbourne nightclub and got glassed in the face. Hmm, what’s the universe telling him?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!