Tag Archives: vietnam

Not A Leg To Stand On

What’s the quickest way to make $250,000? Well, if you don’t mind losing a hand and foot you could always attempt an insurance scam. Just ask the Vietnamese guy who persuaded his friend to lob off her limbs. The man cut off his friend’s hand and foot and plonked her near a railway line before ringing an ambulance, in the hope of claiming medical insurance. Unfortunately for her, the ruse came undone when police became sus about the story and did some digging. The trick , it seems,  is not to have a failing business. Now she is an unemployed, limbless pauper. Oh well.

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Filed under Sore Loser, That's Gotta Hurt

Contested Waters And The Missing Malaysian Airline

sherlock 2China and Vietnam are currently involved in a serious dispute over  contested South China Sea waters which Washington fears may escalate into full out war. Now call me crazy, but didn’t the Mayalsian Airlines disappear immediately after  flying into Vietnamese airspace? I certainly hope the plane was not shot down by the Vietnamese and this on going search is just a ruse to avoid an international incident and another potential war.  I still harp back to that oil rig guy who saw an explosion in the air around the time the plane went missing.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Join the skeptic club!

Bat Ugly

If you go into the Vietnam woods tonight you’re sure of a big surprise. Introducing the Griffin’s leaf-nosed bat.  Get that friggin thing away from me!!!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wildlife

There Goes the RATatouille

First one in is a rotten egg!!!

OMG, spare a thought for the poor Vietnamese, thanks to those friggin floods in Cambodia they now have a massive shortage of rodent meat. Evidently 17 tonnes of live rats are exported from Cambodia to Vietnam each year for consumption but thanks to the  floods most of the “cheap meat” was been washed away.

Psst Give me a break, those rats aren’t dead, they are probably lapping it up in Indonesia right now!!!

Want sauce with that?

 

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross, Friggin Wildlife, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

While You Were Sleeping

Look away men, this could bring an enormous tear to your eye. A Vietnamese woman was so livered that her hubby had had an affair she grabbed a pair of scissors while he was sleeping, snipped off his penis and threw it in the river. Oh come on, it wasn’t that bad, she only cut half of it off. Sheez! After handing herself in she told police he was a wife beating, jobless, druggie. Hmm I’m guessing  the marriage is over then!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

Woman Suddenly Ages 50 Years

I don’t know loons, this woman is claiming she went from 23 years of age to 73 in a matter of days after she used traditional medicine, following an allergic reaction to seafood. Nguyen Thi Phuong, from Vietnam, was a beautiful looking woman until 2008 when “boom”, something friggin bad happened. Her young hubby says he still loves his granny looking wife and will stand by her no matter what. Holy crap, lets hope this isn’t contagious. Run Loons, run!!!!

Psst Call me cynical but more than just her face has gone to pot.Hmm, I think she might need a tub or two of Dr Llewellyn’s anti wrinkle cream.

12 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Join the skeptic club!, Well I Never

That’s a Lot!

You know what I hate? When 164 friggin drug addicts over power guards at a detention centre in Vietnam and escape. I really friggin hate that! Many of the inmates sprinted into the sugarcane fields chucking rocks, bricks and sticks at the police who were in hot pursuit with their tear gas. In the end 130 of the 164 were recaptured but 34 still remain on the loose. Dude, chill!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never, Whoops!

Hi Honey I’m Home!

Daddy, don't expect me to change the sheets!

Now there’s devotion for you. A Vietnamese man dug up his dead wife, moulded a bit of clay around the bits that had fallen off , clothed her and placed the remains in his bed. For 5 years he slept with his wife’s corpse because he just wanted to hug her. Originally when his wife died, Le Van just slept on top of his wife’s grave but when it started getting windy, cold and rainy he dug a tunnel to the grave to “sleep with her”. Once his kids found out they friggin freaked and banned Le Van from going back.Next thing they know he’s dug her up and brought her back to the family home.

Psst I hear the sex is the same but the dishes are piling up in the sink!

4 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross, Friggin Wrong, They Live Among Us !

Something Fishy!

Three workers die in a vat of fish sauceOh dear, three Vietnamese workers have suffocated in a vat of fish sauce. The accident happened in a fish sauce plant in Cam Ranh after one of the workers climbed in to fix a pipe and got into trouble. Two of his mates went to help out but they too sufficated. The 3m wooden vats are full of a  mix of anchovies and salt, where they are left to distil for over a year. Certainly hope the vat was empty when the accident happened!

8 Comments

Filed under End Credit, Whoops!

Waiter There is A Penis In My Soup!

My tummy feels all yucky

My tummy feels all yucky

Oh damn, if you were after a bit of goat penis you are out of luck. Ho Chi Minh City was forced to destroy 1.5 tons of goat penises because of contamination.Seems some nasty little bacterias are to blame, namely E.Coli and Salmonella ! Ooh dear god and the penises came from Australia whats more (that would mean some very unhappy goats!). Hmm, despite labels clearly stating they were not for human consumption 47 of the 72 boxes were sold as food. Yummy, goat penis soup anyone?

3 Comments

Filed under Friggin Gross, Whoops!