Tag Archives: Virginia

Kill Joy Fox Ruins Easter

Take note amateurs, if you are going to hide your candy filled plastic eggs around the yard at night for an Easter egg hunt, please notify your local sweet toothed fox. He obviously didn’t get the MEMO but sends many thanks to the Virginia family for the 30 tasty eggs.

PS Why am I singing Fox on with the runs?

1 Comment

Filed under Friggin Wildlife

No Bull

cow5Attention good people of Virginia please be on the look out for 10 containers of bull semen. Evidently, they were stolen from a farm and if they thaw out they will be friggin useless.

3 Comments

Filed under Well I Never

It’s Not Easy Being Green

Hybrid car owners to pay $100 feeVirginia Governor Bob McDonnell wants to slap all hybrid car owners with a $100 annual fee because those eco friendly car driving bastards are dodging the state gas tax. Take that, you tree hugging, carbon hating greenies. Cough up and smell the petrol fumes like the rest of us!

2 Comments

Filed under Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Luckiest Person Ever

A woman in Virginia has every finger crossed hoping that the painting she bought at a flea market for 60 bucks is actually a Renoir. Seems experts are pretty convinced it’s  the French artist’s  “Paysage Bords de Seine,” and may fetch $100,000.

14 Comments

Filed under Well I Never

Fighter Jet Crashes Into Apartment Complex

‘I’m sorry for destroying your house.’ was all  the pilot of a $64 million fighter jet that crashed into an Virginia apartment complex could manage to say as he lay, with his parachute still attached, and  covered in blood. Miraculously no one was killed.

22 Comments

Filed under Whoops!

John Hinckley Jr Could Be Released Soon

Remember John Hinckley Jr the guy with the chubby face who shot US President Ronald Reagan and three others in 1981 and was found not guilty by reason of insanity? Well, it seems the US Government run mental hospital, where he currently resides, wants him released so he can live near his 85 year old mom in Virginia. Virginia you say? Well, that’s OK then!

Psst Wasn’t Hinckley a family friend of the Bushes?

2nd Psst  I bet Jodie Foster is absolutely thrilled!

Want sauce with that?

2 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

Tragedy Diverted

That sucks

Bah friggin humbug. You know life sucks when 10 high school students get punished for handing out candy canes at school. Seems those 5cm little suckers can be used as weapons. Yes sirree, suck the end so it’s nice and sharp and then you can stab someone. The boys from Battlefield High School in Virginia were accused of trying to “maliciously maim students with the intent to injure,”. Sheez, in my days they simply bought a knife. Hmm, interestingly their disciplinary notices failed to mention “maiming” but instead claimed they littered and created a disturbance. Anywho, glad no one got seriously candy caned!

7 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never