Take note amateurs, if you are going to hide your candy filled plastic eggs around the yard at night for an Easter egg hunt, please notify your local sweet toothed fox. He obviously didn’t get the MEMO but sends many thanks to the Virginia family for the 30 tasty eggs.
PS Why am I singing Fox
on with the runs?
Attention good people of Virginia please be on the look out for 10 containers of bull semen. Evidently, they were stolen from a farm and if they thaw out they will be friggin useless.
Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell wants to slap all hybrid car owners with a $100 annual fee because those eco friendly car driving bastards are dodging the state gas tax. Take that, you tree hugging, carbon hating greenies. Cough up and smell the petrol fumes like the rest of us!
A woman in Virginia has every finger crossed hoping that the painting she bought at a flea market for 60 bucks is actually a Renoir. Seems experts are pretty convinced it’s the French artist’s “Paysage Bords de Seine,” and may fetch $100,000.
‘I’m sorry for destroying your house.’ was all the pilot of a $64 million fighter jet that crashed into an Virginia apartment complex could manage to say as he lay, with his parachute still attached, and covered in blood. Miraculously no one was killed.
Bah friggin humbug. You know life sucks when 10 high school students get punished for handing out candy canes at school. Seems those 5cm little suckers can be used as weapons. Yes sirree, suck the end so it’s nice and sharp and then you can stab someone. The boys from Battlefield High School in Virginia were accused of trying to “maliciously maim students with the intent to injure,”. Sheez, in my days they simply bought a knife. Hmm, interestingly their disciplinary notices failed to mention “maiming” but instead claimed they littered and created a disturbance. Anywho, glad no one got seriously candy caned!