It’s About to Blow

This goddam Bali volcano is taking its own sweet time to erupt. Nearly 100,000 people have been evacuated but so far crickets. Seriously, just kaboom already, my Bintang is getting warm.

It’s About To Blow

If you happen to be in Bali at the moment, you might want to look out your window. The volcano is about to blow. No one is quite sure what will happen but a 12km evacuation zone has been ordered. Mount Agung hasn’t popped its top for over 60 years  but all indications are it’s about to. So far over 200,000 people have been evacuated from the danger zone but the bigger problem is how to get off the island. If Agung sends clouds of ash into the air there won’t be any planes allowed to land or depart.  Might want to stock up on Bintang….just saying.

Will We Ever Learn?

OK, no need to panic but seriously, why would you build a friggin nuclear plant near a volcano? A Japanese scientist is predicting that Mt Ioyama is gonna blow. Which is scary because the Sendai nuclear plant is 40 miles away. Just another thing to worry about.

Kiwi Volcano Erupts

New Zealand’s Mt Tongariro volcano has just erupted….run!!!!

New Zealand Blows

That better be the smell of your fart!!!!

o Oh, I don’t won’t to be alarmist or anything but run people living near Mt Tongariro, seems your volcano has decided to erupt after 100 years of sleep. Despite no orders to evacuate just yet, Air New Zealand flights have been cancelled until the ash cloud has dispersed. The cloud of ash came from a new hole on the side of the North Island mountain and experts are yet to determine if there is more to come. The area has been experiencing volcanic related earthquakes since July.

 

Icelandic Volcano is Rumbling

A massive Icelandic volcano is rumbling and fears are it may erupt, causing air chaos and large glacier meltdowns. Oh goodie, just in time for Christmas. The last time Katla blew was in 1918. Experts expect major probs if it decides to erupt again. Fire + ice + ash = big slushy mess.

What’s Up With The Uturuncu Volcano?

What’s 20,000 foot high, lives in southwest Bolivia and is blowing up like a giant balloon? If you said a volcano, you’re spot on, now run!!!!! Scientists have been scratching their heads trying to work out why the area below and around Uturuncu is rising so fast. From current calculations the magma beneath the volcano is growing at about 27 cubic feet per second which is 10 times faster than normal magma growth. Oh by the way did I happen to mention the Uturuncu volcano is surrounded by a series of dormant supervolcanoes, which means if for some chance one of them erupts it will make Mount St Helens look like a burst pimple. Modern civilization has never witnessed a supervolcanoes fury and scientists are just praying that Uturuncu isn’t forming into one because that would give Mayan believers cause for celebrations!

Want sauce with that?

Wait One Minute!

As the world snickers over the failed “Rapture”, cue  volcano eruption . Yep, Iceland’s Grimsvotn is about to blow.

Those Friggin Mayans!

Hello, hello, can anyone hear me?

OK loons, you know how I hate spreading panic and fear BUT hello, the huge volcano under Yellowstone National Park has been raising at an “unprecedented rate”. Did you hear me, unfrigginprecedented. Scientists are saying it’s 5 times larger than ever before. If the thing erupts it could explode with a force 1000 times more powerful than the Mount St Helens eruption in 1980 with two thirds of the US becoming uninhabitable. But scientists are quick to pour cold water on the doomsday prediction saying it doesn’t necessarily mean an eruption is imminent. If you were wondering,  the last time it erupted was 70,000 years ago. Hey Boo-Boo , might want to stock your cupboards people!

Ring Of Fire

Run!!!!

OK, if you live anywhere within kooee of the Sinabung volcano in Sumatra you might want to think about getting the hell out of there, the damn thing is about to blow. The volcano has already spewed smoke and ash 1.5km into the air (hello people, remember Pompeii !!!) and a thick blanket of black smoke has covered the area. Singabung hasn’t popped it’s lid for over 400 years but officials have put the island on red alert. So far 12,000 people have been evacuated.