Tag Archives: vomit

SS Upchuck

I hate my life!

I hate my life!

You know your holiday is going downhill when passengers start upchucking in the pool. Time to pack and get the hell off the horror cruise, I say. Gastro has reared its ugly head once again on a cruise Down Under. Over 200 people of the 4000 passengers are believed to be suffering from the unfortunate bug. Despite emptying the pools, disinfecting everything in sight and ordering the sick to stay the heck away from healthy passengers the cruise went to hell in a handbag (and sick bag). On a bright note, the smorgasbord was relatively free to indulge . Bon appetite.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Airline Failure

vomitYou have a uber time in Hawaii, you get on plane, find your seat and get ready to make yourself comfortable when you reach for the blanket in the seat back pocket and then ….. oh …ewh… WTF? A couple on a United Airlines flight were more than just horrified when they discovered that a sick bag full of vomit had been wrapped in a blanket and put in their seat pocket. When they handed it to the flight attendant the vomit spilled on them. Despite being offered different seats they spent the entire flight smelling of someone else’s upchuck.  Oh dear lord, I think I would want to pass on the inflight meal. The airline apologised on behalf of the lazy bastards who failed to clean the plane prior to take-off.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross

Epic Vomit Apology

vomitA kid who did an epic upchuck outside the bathroom of a bookstore in Oregon has sent the poor cleaners of the mess an apology letter and a Ben and Jerry’s gift card. The epic chuck, which was estimated as having a 12ft diameter, was cleaned up by some pretty peeved and shocked staff members. However, they did get a chuckle when the letter arrived which was addressed to the “Barf Cleaners”.

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Filed under Friggin Gross, Sore Loser, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Chunder Down Under

Passengers on Qantas plane suffer gastroMove over worst nightmare we have a new winner. Imagine being on a 13 hour plane ride from Santiago (Chile) to Sydney with 26 students hurling their guts up violently (and lets not forget the diarrhoea) in the eight toilets, after boarding with friggin gastro. The tour group spewed and pooed the entire trip while horrified passengers watched on. When the flying bucket landed the sick were met by a line of ambulances escorting them to hospital. Pasta or chicken?

Psst Pity the poor cleaners

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross

Spicy Food Festival Fail

I hate my life!!!

I hate my life!!!

Egads, about 200 people who attended a spicy food street festival in England have been upchucking and pooping through the eye of a needle amid fears of a salmonella outbreak. The Street Spice festival had been held at Newcastle’s Times Square. Dodgy vindaloo?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Thanks For Nothing

Honey, You Have Something in Your Hair

Oh my, an Amusement Park in the UK, has decided to breathalyser all riders after an increase in upchucking. Wait for these frightening stats. Evidently in the past 7 days there has been a 250% increase in rides being shutdown due to projectile vomit incidents (mainly from drunk or hungover students).  Dear lord, pass me the gloves and a bucket of sand. Gross.

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Filed under Uncategorized

Get Rich On Whale Sick

Humans are gross!!!

How much is sperm whale upchuck  worth you may well ask? Well, if you happen upon a 600 gram piece of whale sick, you could be  £40,000 richer.  Just ask the British schoolboy who found a chunk of chuck on a beach in Bournemouth. Seems the sweet smelling  rock like substance is highly sought after with perfume makers because it prolongs the scent or perfume. Hmm, I wonder what fool first discovered that?

Psst I wonder if it has carrots in it?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross, Friggin Wildlife

Upchuck Fee

I hate my life!

Go Austin taxi drivers, they can now charge a $100 vomit fee to passengers who upchuck in their vehicles. Hello, they get the lucky job of cleaning up the mess, they should charge friggin more!!! Personally I’d want a new car!!!

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, Well I Never

No Snowflake, It Wasn’t Santa!

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
An intruder was vomiting, what a damn friggin louse!
A very pissed Lester Bagwell broke into a house in Howard county then used the toilet before upchucking all over the place.Merry Christmas Allan Temby and family, I hope it wasn’t on your carpet!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross, Whoops!

We Don’t Do Vomit

Damn these terrorists!

Gosh and I thought I was paranoid, a woman in Orland rang the sheriff’s office requesting a deputy come pick up a bag of vomit. She told the dispatcher she believed terrorists may have put chemicals in her food so she upchucked so it could be tested. Better safe than sorry right? Anywho, she was told to basically piss off and get some other sucker to test the vomit.

 

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Gross, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never