Tag Archives: warning

Hunters Be Warned

If you go into the Wisconsin woods today you’re in for a big surprise …. like a)  a volatile meth lab that could go kaboom or b) crazy, high, paranoid druggies who could go postal on you .  So says the sheriff who has issued a warning to all hunters.

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Filed under Well I Never

Fish Spill Warning

We warned you

We warned you

OK, I thought that this would be self explanatory but one more time Belfast residents…. don’t and I repeat DON’T eat the fish that spilled from a truck on Saturday. Several people were seen bagging the mackerel that lay strewn across the street . One lucky dude who grabbed 25 slippery suckers said “I know fish and can tell they were just off the boat.” Hmm, well alrighty then.

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Filed under Friggin Gross, Well I Never

Cruise Ships Are A Rocking

So I thought I might where my ...oh wait

Ever wondered why so many old people are going on cruises? Well, it seems sex is rife on the cruise liners. So much so that sexually transmitted disease amongst the senior cits is on the rise. Ewh. Now the UK government is issuing warnings to the blue rinse brigade to make sure they take condoms with them on their cruises. Evidently syphilis has increased by 52% in people over 65.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World

Paddington Bare

Whoa, the new Paddington Bear movie has been whacked with a PG rating meaning it is unsuitable for young children. Oh and the film censors have  advised it also contains sex and violence. It’s a kiddie movie for goodness sakes. Oh, but on a brighter note the British Board of Film Classification have decided to change their initial “mild sex references” to “innuendo”. Evidently a scene in the movie, where the character of Mr Brown disguises himself as a cleaning woman and flirts with a security guard,  raised a few eyebrows. I don’t know what adaptation of Paddington the film company have used but the BBFC have given the PG rating because of dangerous behaviour, mild threat, mild sex references, and mild bad language. Hmm, maybe Paddington has been hanging around Ted?

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Epic Telco Fail

Cell phoneAustralian phone company Telstra scared the beegezus out of its mobile phone customers by sending them a text warning on how to reduce exposure to electromagnetic energy .OMG, no!!! Some people freaked. No one wants to think the phone in their pocket is nuking their ….oh never mind. The text contained a link which sent customers to a World Health Organisation tips page about how to “reduce mobile phone exposure”. Hmm, if I was a suspicious Loon, I would be thinking they know something and are covering their asses before the electromagnetic energy hits the fan!!!

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Filed under Friggin Scary

Be Gone Cancer Causing Chemicals In Pepsi and Coke

No cause for alarm people but Pepsi and Coca Cola lovers might want to turn their heads away for this one. Seems both drink companies have announced they will be cutting the levels of chemicals in their caramel coloring in order to avoid having to put a “cancer warning” on their drink’s labels. Oh dear, evidently there is way too much 4-MEI (carcinogen) in the coloring  which means under California laws they either have to reduce the levels or whack a warning sticker on their products . Those damn lab mice and their tumors!!!!! By the way Pepsi and Coke both are adamant their drinks are safe.

Want sauce with that?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Even Electronic Smoking Can Kill

OMG, warning people, be careful when puffing on an electronic cigarette. A man has had his teeth blown out after the device’s battery exploded. The cig is suppose to simulate smoking by producing a safe vapor that has no odor or residue. The Florida man had been using the electronic cigarette for several years after he began suffering lung problems. Authorities are not sure exactly what went on but the battery went kaboom after having a puff, taking out his teeth , part of his tongue and setting his study on fire. Whatever you do don’t smoke!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never, Whoops!

Health and Safety Alert

Attention the good people of England, the police would like to inform you that it’s not wise to put wire mesh on your garden shed windows because a burglar might get injured and sue your sorry ass. Many locals in Kent and Surrey have been placing wire mesh over the windows for reinforcement after a spate of burglaries in which power tools, lawnmowers and bikes have been nicked. This has prompted police to warn them that if a crim gets hurt on the wire they could sue  for compo. Hmm, so maybe the locals should put a welcome mat outside the shed and leave the door open. Oh wait, the thief might trip over the mat and get hit by the door on the way out! Friggin Nanny State!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Nanny State, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Caffeine Powder Warning

A little community service announcement to people buying caffeine powder, follow the instructions or die. A British man unfortunately didn’t, he died after downing two spoonfuls of caffeine powder with an energy drink at a party (equivalent to  drinking 70 cans of Red Bull). Fifteen minutes after taking it he was upchunking blood and sweating profusely. The packet was purchased online for $5.38 and warned users (in small print) not to take more than a sixteenth of a teaspoon. Sheez, when’s that trip to Mars?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!

Don’t Pat The Raccoons

A little word of warning to Central Park joggers, layabouts, muggers and picnickers, avoid the raccoons if you can, they are rabid. Yep, seems there has been a slight outbreak… hmm 114 cases this year to be exact.So if you see one, run!!! AND if they happen to chase you, run friggin faster!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, Friggin Wildlife, They Live Among Us !