Truck on a Roll

What happens when your truck full of bread dough gets too hot? A rising yeasty mess. Motorists would be excused for having a little chuckle when dough began oozing from a truck on a Washington State highway. Sticky buns.

Can I Order the Lot?

It sounded like a good idea at the time. A group of pizza delivery guys decided to run a side business…delivering cocaine in pizza boxes. Unfortunately, the cops got a whiff and set up “Operation Extra Olives.” to catch them.

PSST Sheez, lets hope Uber doesn’t get ideas!!!!

Carpool Fail

One more time people and say it slowly…. a ball wearing a hat is not going to get you through life into the carpool lane. Sorry mister good try. Washington State police busted the dude when they pulled him up for expired tags. Doh! He also confessed to police the infant in the back was actually “a ball with a hat!”

A Thought To Ponder

Stolen from Facebook …..

It all makes sense now: Gay marriage legalized on the same day as marijuana in Washington state makes perfect biblical sense.

Leviticus 20:13 says: “A man who lays with another man should be stoned.”

Psst Take that and smoke it Westboro.

Daughter Uses Dad As Target Practice

My bad?

Sheez, they breed them tough in Washington State. A 15 year old girl who was banned from using her cell phone responded by allegedly shooting her dad with a hunting bow. That’s what you get for taking away the phone and grounding her. Poor guy had to drive himself to the nearest neighbor with an arrow in his torso because his daughter wouldn’t let him ring for an ambulance. Hmm, Christmas may suck this year!

Radioactive Rodent Alert

OK, no need to panic people but remember the radioactive rabbit caught at Hanford’s nuclear reservation? No? Come on it was virtually glowing in the dark with radioactive cesium (well it could have been).  Well anywho, guess what? They’ve now found radioactive mouse droppings. But don’t you worry none, the Washington State Department of Health says they are on to it and the public need not fear. Hello, the radioactive droppings have only been found around 327 Building where plutonium was once produced. The theory is the rabbit and the mouse could have sipped water from the building’s basement and viola, radioactive rodents. As a precaution they have now erected a chain-link fence around 327 building and sprayed the perimeter with fox urine to keep the animals out. That should do it!

Barrel Ride Fail

OK here’s the thing boys, don’t be putting four gallons of methanol in a 55 gallon drum so you can go for a “barrel ride”, it will only end in tears! The two men from  Washington State, filled up the barrel, sat on top and lit it, expecting to go shooting across a parking lot like a rocket. Instead it just went kaboom! One end of the barrel reportedly flew 120ft, Both men are now in hospital with severe burns.

More Money Than Sense

A Washington State business is offering a reward of $1,000 to anyone who helps them catch the thief who stole their doormat despite it only costing $20.Advanced Metal Technologies in Spokane are pissed at the audacity of the dude and want him off the streets! Good luck with that.

Psst For a $1,000 bucks I’d hand myself in, get a slap on the wrist and go shopping.

Didn’t I tell You To Wear Clean Undies?

Ewh, ewh, ewh, authorities in Washington State have used DNA from a pair of undies left at a burglary to solve the crime. You gotta hate that friggin DNA database huh? Anywho, the underpants, which were left behind along with shoes and pants, came up a perfect match for some dude who was already in jail on other burglary charges. Hmm, just add this to the list!

Friggin Spit In Your Whopper!

We now know what the special sauce was in that Whopper! Sheriff’s Deputy Edward Bylsma from Washington state is suing Burger King after finding a gob of spit in his burger. The deputy claims in March this year he entered a Vancouver store and ordered a meal but got an uneasy feeling about two staff members.That’s when he lifted the top half of the bun and found a big ol’ gob of spit. Being a cop ,of course he got the two employees DNA tested as well as the saliva and viola a match! He is seeking $75,000 in damages.