Steal On Wheels

A British thief came up with a unique way to shoplift …pretend to be in a wheelchair. Unfortunately, she didn’t count on CCTV footage filming her miraculously getting up from her chair and stuffing items up her coat. Despite the footage she and her accomplice rolled out of the Marks and Spencers food store.

52 Years of Shit

I don’t know what really happened but I am guessing Christmas is going to be awkward. A woman, celebrating her 52nd birthday, had enough of her wheelchair bound mother so she tipped her to the curb…and by tipped, I mean pushed the wheelchair off the curb sending mommy head first into the concrete.When questioned the woman said she did it because of “52 years of shit”. The woman also struck her sister in the face with a camera.

Want sauce with that?

 

Wheelchair Denied

OMG, I shouldn’t laugh but some poor guy in Sweden, who had both his legs amputated, is being denied a power wheelchair because…wait for it….the health authorities aren’t sure if his condition is permanent. Hmm, I’m not doctor but I can tell you right now, they won’t be coming back!

Hazards of Smoking

Oh my, a wheelchair bound man with a penchant for smoking has accidentally set himself and the neighborhood  on fire.Here’s how it happened. The Florida man was smoking a ciggie in a vacant lot with lots of grass when he  thought he had extinguished it. Hmm,  apparently not, because when he threw it into the brush …kaboom…the  whole place was on fire including him and his wheelchair. When firefighters arrived the man was nowhere in sight but was later found severely burned in his wheelchair.

Epic Robbery Fail

Dumb and dumber

Oh for crying out loud you idiots, that is no way to rob a jewelry store. At some stage Noemi Duchene and Luis Del Castillo had the bright idea of robbing Estate & New Jewelry in El Paso.  Del Castillo pushed Duchene in her wheelchair  right up to the front of the store (so the security camera could get a great shot) before Duchene gets out of the wheelchair and covers her head with a black trash bag. She then enters the store while Del Castillo waits by her chair.Duchene pulls a knife and demands “everything” but the owner pulls out her stun gun.The two then chase each other around for awhile before the owner tackles Duchene (because she’s none too fast) and holds her until police arrive. Meanwhile De Castillo is still waiting patiently beside the wheelchair. Turns out the dumbasses lived in an apartment right across the street.

Going Down!

OK here’s the thing Korean man in wheelchair, when ramming a lift door in a fit of anger make sure it doesn’t suddenly open and you plunge 19ft to your death. A South Korean man, who became enraged after a woman in a shopping center lift failed to hold it open for him, lost his cool and began ramming the door with his electric wheelchair. After several attempts the doors gave way and well, he plunged down the shaft. Angry man 0, lift 1.

Mosh Pit To Hell

OMG, a quadriplegic man has been impaled after his electric wheelchair was catapulted into a mosh pit at a ACDC concert in Queensland.Witnesses say one of his friends accidentally knocked the joystick of his motorized wheelchair sending him crashing more than a metre down into the pit. As he crash landed a metal stick he used to pick up things embedded in his eye. No, there was no front barrier between the wheelchair podium and the mosh pit.

Gunman in a Wheelchair Alert

And can you describe him for me madam?

Urgent news bulletin, D.C. police are looking for a gunman in a wheelchair who shot a woman in the foot. The victim said she had had a verbal with the wheelchair bound man a few weeks prior. As she got off the bus he rolled up and shot her “Didn’t say anything. Just shot her.” Hmm, so technically is this a drive-by or roll-by shooting?

Psst No need to call  Police Chief Charles Moose, I don’t think it’s a sniper type of thing.

Not So Fast

Loser

The last thing Luva Rhodes was expecting as she sat in her wheelchair outside her residential care facility was to be mugged. But then again I guess the last thing the mugger was expecting was to be rammed by her wheelchair.The would-be assailant tried to grab her purse but it was looped around the handle of her chair, so as he struggled to unhook it she let him have it. In the end Ms Rhodes said “He ran like a little girl.