Tag Archives: winner

Nooooooooooo

Wait until I get my hands on you

Wait until I get my hands on you

Remember the nurse who shared in the 2 billion dollar lottery win in the US? You know, the one with the 7 kids who finished her shift before celebrating. Hmm, well it seems she actually didn’t win the lottery. Her son pranked her.  Awks.

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Filed under Whoops!

Lay Announces A Winner

I wanted chili chocolate bacon

I wanted chili chocolate bacon

OK, US Loons, I known you have been desperately waiting  the announcement of the winning Lay’s flavored chips so here goes…. and no, it wasn’t the maple-syrup tasting Chicken & Waffles or the Sriracha (hot Thai sauce)… the winner is the Cheesy Garlic Bread chips. That’s an artery hardener right there. The winner who came up with the flavor wins $1 million or 1% of sales (which ever is higher).

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Dumpling Death Sours Contest

You know what I hate? Receiving a jar full of sour a cream after winning a Ukrainian dumpling eating contest and then promptly dying. I really friggin hate that. Poor Ivan Mendel chomped down 10 dumplings in half a minute to take out the prize of a litre of sour cream but didn’t get to enjoy his spoils.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, End Credit, Whoops!

Rory McIllroy Fail

How does your husband play?

A big shout out to Rory Mcillroy, gallant in defeat after losing the Masters (that’s golf for those of you who are a tad confused) in  spectacular fashion. Poor guy was still leading the tournament after the 9th hole on the final day only to watch his ball ricochet off a tree and into the abyss on the 10th. He tried hard to recover but the friggin ball found another tree. By the time he had finished the hole he had lost the lead and his confidence. It kinda got worse on the 11th and 12th holes but by then the lead was irretrievable. Sheez, I feel your pain! Well at least he can take some comfort …. “The positive are that I led the tournament for 63 holes.” Attaboy. Oh and congrats to  Charl Schwartzel the eventual winner, whoever the dickens you are?

Psst I hate it when they say it was his to lose!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never, Whoops!

Vatican Not Happy!

Guess who’s none too happy about the “father of the test tube baby”,  Robert G. Edwards, winning a Nobel prize? Go on, guess? If you said the Vatican, take a gulp  of  communion wine. An official with the Vatican, Ignazio Carrasco de Paula, said it was “completely inappropriate” and that his work “had created a market for human eggs and created problems of embryos being frozen.”  Hmm, like the Vatican should be talking about what is inappropriate?

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Manjimup Cherry Pip Spitting 2009

OK Loons, I know you have been hanging out all day wondering who the hell won the Manjimup Cherry Pip Spitting competition this year, so let me put you out of your misery. The Australasian champ is ….drum roll please… Craig McSharer. Name sound familiar? Probably because he won it last year too! Craig, who just returned from New Zealand after competing in the Cromwell spit (compliments of GlobeVista) was still smarting from coming third, but he pulled something special out of his belly to pip everyone at the post with a spit of over 11m.

New Zealand champ

Winners are grinners!

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, Friggin Hilarious, I'm Just Saying !

It’s The Ernie Award Winners of 2009

Ernie Award winners 2009Yay it’s that time of the year again… the Ernie Awards. Brilliant, that’s when it is revealed which Aussie has made the most sexist comment this year.Drum roll please…and the winner is…wait for it…you waiting? The winner is Pastor Danny Nalliah, the head of the Catch the Fire Ministries with this little beauty. “God’s conditional protection has been removed from the nation of Australia, in particular Victoria, for approving the slaughter of innocent children in the womb.”. His comment was made following the tragic February bushfires in Victoria. Bravo sexist Danny, you got the biggest boos to take out the coveted award.
The Silver Ernie was shared by two deserved winners, Kyle Sandilands and the NSW Police Force. Kyle Sandilands was sited twice, once for his comment following a girl’s confession on radio she had been raped “Right, is that the only experience you’ve had?” and secondly for his quip about Magda Szubanski “she could become skinny if she was in a concentration camp.”. Well deserved Kyle. The NSW Police Force won the Silver for making a female employee work overtime for every minute she spent expressing breast milk for her baby.
The Sporting Ernie (aka the Warnie) went to NRL player Simon Williams for his remarks about the recent NRL group sex scandal “It’s not during the act, it’s the way you treat them after. (It) could have been avoided if they had put them in a cab and said thanks.”
And last but not least the award that guarantees the best boos of the night, the Elaine Award. This prize is reserved for the woman whose remarks are “the least helpful to the sisterhood”. Oh dear this year’s winner was journalist Miranda Devine with this little doosie “Decades of androgynous feminism have stamped on chivalry, deriding men who opened doors or stood back for women as being sexist and patronising. It would have been better for women if feminism had appealed to men’s better natures.”

Psst If you missed last years winners you can find them here Ernie Winners 2008.

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