Tag Archives: winter olympics

Anyone Want The Winter Olympics?

applaudOh dear, thanks to Putin’s extravagant $51 billion dollar effort, no country seems to want the 2022 Winter Olympics. After a mass exodus there are now only two cites vying,  Beijing and Almaty in Kazakhstan.

The Loon proposal. For years I have becried the wicked waste of money countries spend hosting the Olympic Games (both Summer and Winter). I don’t understand why they don’t build a global stadium in Greece for the Summer Olympics . The 204 countries who participate should all initially fork out $5 million each (poorer countries pay a reduced fee) to help build the facility. That would give them around $51 billion. Every 4 years a country is chosen to host the games in that “global facility”. Then we would have the poorer countries having the opportunity to host. The same could go for the Winter Olympics.

If the Channel Ten Network in Australia alone  could forked out $20 million to have the rights to screen the Winter Olympics then surely some of those fees should help  cover the maintaining of the facilities.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World

Cool Runnings Sequel In The Making

The Winter Olympics just got a rainbow of awesome with the announcement the Jamacian bobsled team have qualified. Unfortunately the dudes haven’t got a cent to their names to even get there. Sheez, I love these guys. Currently they they need $80,000 to cover travel and equipment costs. They have already cut the team down from 4 to 2 because basically they are skint.  Oh for goodness sakes Disney, get your cryonic head out of the freezer and  fund the boys, you know you can squeeze another movie from this.

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Filed under Friggin Awesome

Too Many Friggin Ryans

Blame it on Ryan

OK, I have just peeled my ass off the couch after watching Canada take out the gold at the 2010 Winter Olympic men’s ice hockey finals and all I can say is the reason for America’s loss….  too many friggin Ryans. I’m just saying. Ryan Miller, Ryan Suter, Ryan Whitney, Ryan Callahan, Ryan Kesler and Ryan Malone. And if that wasn’t bad enough lets not forget Bobby Ryan. People, what’s up with that, you gotta lose the Ryans. Hello, Canada only has one Ryan because they know the name means “little king” and that ain’t good when you want to be a “friggin legend”. I’m telling ya, no good can come from this. I think the USA should impose a Ryan ban until further notice.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, They Live Among Us !

USA vs Canada in Ice Hockey

OK people, we already know Hitler was pissed when Canada failed to beat the USA in the Winter Olympics Ice Hockey preliminaries but in a few hours they will be hoping to redeem themselves in the biggest clash since Jesse Owens bitch slapped the Fuhrer in Berlin. Good luck, Hitler won’t be amused if you lose nor will the 34 million Canadians. Geez, no pressure!

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, I'm Just Saying !, You Go Girl!

Tragedy At Winter Olympics

Nodar Kumaritashvili a 21 year old luger from the nation of Georgia has been killed in a horrific crash during a practice session in Whistler, Vancouver. He bounced off the icy walls before flying into a steel beam after going break neck speeds down the $105-million sliding facility. The tragedy is sure to cast a dark shadow over the opening ceremony of the Winter Olympics.

Psst Hmm, you would have thought there would have been padding over the poles, considering it is the fastest section of the course. Health and safety people, health and safety.

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Filed under End Credit

Is it stealing or promoting?

Oh my, the Aboriginal community is upset over two Russian ice skaters who plan to use an Aboriginal theme routine at this year’s winter Olympics. Oh yeah, elders are now claiming “culture theft” by Oksana Domnina and Maxim Shabalin who feature ceremonial dance steps and wear brown bodysuits adorned with painted swirls , red loin cloths and gum leaves trimmings. Sol Bellear, of the New South Wales state Aboriginal Land Council says “We see it as stealing Aboriginal culture, and it is yet another example of the Aboriginal people of Australia being exploited.” Is it wrong to interpret someone else’s culture? Didn’t Torville and Dean nick Spain’s? OK loons, any thoughts?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Just In Case You Weren’t Just Happy With A Gold Medal

Hey Jammers, is someone  trying to corner your market? Womyns’Ware in Vancouver are offering free vibrators to any winter Olympian who wins a gold medal…. AND wait, there’s more.. registered lugers wont be left out in the cold they can have a free “slip kit”. Hmm, just near tempting enough to make me try out for the Curling team.  Oh dear god, they also have a five pack of  penis rings (in the Olympic colors I presume), so you can truly get into the Olympic spirit.

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Ecstasy Pill – The Olympic Edition

The winter Olympics wouldn’t be complete without the collectors edition ecstasy pills, branded with the Olympic logo, now would it ? Hmm, shame, that Dutch dude must be pissed! Oh but before you get too excited, the Canadian police have busted the drug ring (pun intended) who had branded the tablets with the Olympic rings. Blahaha and the real bitch is, not only are they facing drug possession charges they also facing the wrath of the Olympics committee for trademark violation. They are planning to sue them for not having permission to use their logo!

Psst Did you know the official name for Ecstasy? Methylenedioxymethamphetamine. Come on it might come in handy at your next quiz night!

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Hilarious, Sore Loser, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never