Sometimes you read a news article and you think they are having a lend of you. I was surfing google news, as you do, and I came upon a news headline ‘Woman on Toilet Seat for Two Years”‘. Now like everyone else, I just presumed she had been found dead on a toilet seat. Hell no, she was alive and being fed by her boyfriend. God knows what possessed him to ring for help after two years, maybe it was the fact that her body had grown around the seat and she couldn’t get up (we will probably never know?). But even after reading and re-reading the news article, I just couldn’t get my head around the two years thing. I still thought it was some sort of prank. Then my mind wandered, as it does, to the obvious questions. How did she eat, sleep, wash her hair, spend the day? Two years is 730 days or 17,520 hours or 1,036,800 minutes (you get my drift) what the hell would somebody do for all that time (and guys DON’T say reading the newspaper!). Then I thought, wouldn’t flushing wet your bottom? Where was boyfriend going to the toilet? Was she fully dressed ? What did they have to say to one another? Did she smell? Sadly, after all that pondering, I was shocked to hear that they were having a normal relationship. Please God , let that not be sex too! Oh the bad, bad, bad thoughts….happy place, happy place.
UPDATE : Get this, the boyfriend, Kory McFarren, has just claimed,for the second time this year, $20,000 in the state lottery. McFarren had received six months probation after pleading no contest to the mistreatment of a dependent adult. Evidently it was sores on the woman’s bottom that made her stick!