Tag Archives: women

Thought Up By A Man I Presume?

Oh bless, the Austrian Green Party are holding a special meeting for women. Yes they are. And guess what its about? They want to show women how to pee standing up so they can avoid sitting on dirty loos at music festivals and the likes. Hmm, seems to me this would create more of an unholy mess…. just saying.

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Filed under Well I Never, You Go Girl!

Not Tonight Dear I Fear A Fart Brewing

OK honey, I’m ready!!!!

Holy sex farts Batman. A recent survey in Sweden has revealed 1 in 3 women have at some stage refused to have sex because they feared a fart was a brewing. Hmm, men on the other hand weren’t so concerned with only 1 in 6 refusing due to gas.

Want sauce with that?

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Filed under Friggin Surveys

Emergency Undies

Oh crap, I got my Bonds comfy fit on!!!

OK ladies, hands up who carries a spare pair of sexy knickers in their purse just in case a date goes better than expected? Well, it’s supposedly 43% of you! Don’t look at me, blame Bridget Jones she brought the horror and embarrassment of  granny knickers to light!

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Filed under Friggin Surveys, Well I Never

Stephen Hawking on Women

Best quote for 2012 so far goes to renowned British physicist and cosmologist Stephen Hawking  who said “Women. They are a complete mystery.”

 

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious

It’s Murder She Wrote

Remember the female body found on the Queen’s Sandringham estate New Years Day, which wasn’t Fergie’s? Well police suspect foul play and are currently scouring cold cases. The body of the woman was found near where the Royal family gather for their Boxing Day shoot. Oo Oh! I hope it wasn’t fowl play, because that wouldn’t be pheasant (sorry, bad joke). Police believe the body could have been there for over four months without being detected.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

The Photos You Don’t Want To See

Oh my, if you have ever seen a gyno  in the town of Schifferstadt in Germany, you may not like what you are about to read. A 56 year old  gynecologist has been arrested after taking photos of about 3,000 women’s “you know whats”, without their knowledge. Egads, that’s some collection. Police have seized about 35,000 awkwardly embarrassing photos of his naked patients. So far 700 victims have come forward. Sheez, how would you identify your…ah never mind. The sick doc is now facing a year in jail, while the women face a lifetime of embarrassment.

Psst Pity the fool who has to sort out the doctors collection.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Er Gross !, Friggin Gross, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Promise You Won’t Tell?

They aren't real!!!!

How long do you think a woman can keep a secret? If you said 32 minutes, take a bow. Yep, a recent study has found a female can only hold her tongue for a little over half an hour. Even more disturbing 13% deliberately offload the gossip in order for it to spread. Bitchy!!!

Want sauce with that?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Surveys, I'm Just Saying !

The Ultimate Sacrifice

Sheez, and here I thought it was just me!

Sheez, joining Al Qaeda isn’t it’s all cracked up to be. Apparently a prerequisite is having to take an  impotency injection to your penis. Don’t want no terrorist thinking with his dick now do we, especially when they have a jihad to worry about, gosh! Abd al-Rahim al-Nashiri who was gently persuaded by the CIA to spill his guts said he took the powerful chemicals to stop himself from being distracted by women.

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Sore Loser, That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never

This Is Why You Shouldn’t Do Drugs

And I thought I was bad!

OMG, please tell me the vagina isn’t the new “handbag”!!! A woman who was suspected of robbing the Dunmore Inn was found to have 54 bags of heroin, 31 empty heroin bags, prescription pills and $51.22 hidden in her vagina. Police became sus when she began fidgeting in the back seat of the police car. They later requested a doctor to search Karin Mackaliunas’s privates and viola, cash and drugs. Hmm, that’s quite a big storage compartment.

Want sauce with that?

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never

Hardcore Cosmo For the Terrorist in You!

I'm wearing infidel red lippy!

When Al Qaeda launch a woman’s mag you wouldn’t expect anything less than hardcore, now would you. Forget Cosmo and Marie Claire, Al Shamikha is a new woman’s mag for Islamic extremist women. Included amongst the glossy beauty and fashion tips pages are articles on “marrying a mujahedeen” and carrying out suicide attacks. Hmm, wouldn’t want to break a nail! The editor says the idea is to educate women and involve them in the war against the enemies of Islam. Of course!

Want sauce with that?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never, You Go Girl!