Tag Archives: Zimbabwe

Lion Kills Woman Having Sex

Lion kills women while she's having sexOne of the many hazards of having sex in the bush in Zimbabwe is the possibility of being mauled by a rogue lion. The woman, known as  Mai Desire, was with her boyfriend doing a little hanky panky when the beast pounced. Unfortunately Desire was mauled to death while her boyfriend fled, naked and with a condom still on. Needless to say motorists were reluctant to stop for him. Another unidentified man was found mauled to death while rangers were out looking for the lion.

15 Comments

Filed under Friggin Wildlife, Well I Never

Zimbabwe is broke

Guess how much money Zimbabwe has left in the bank? Ok, you want a hint … Hmm, let see … How’s about $217 . Egads, that ain’t gonna go far.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Mugabe Not Happy About Nandos Commercial

Zimbabwe dictator has banned the Nandos commercial…

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious

Female Rapists Captured in Zimbabwe

Oh for crying out loud, three women in Zimbabwe have been charged with raping 17 men after police found 33 condoms full of semen in their car. OK, I shall pause here while you try and picture it in your head. Done? Good! The women have been targeting male hitchhikers and either drugging them or persuading them with a gun. Evidently the sperm is used for ritual purposes. Uh huh. Something to do with scaring away bad luck. Police are hoping more victims will come forward.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross, Well I Never

Male MP’s Told To Get Circumcised

Not a good time to be a Zimbabwe politician. Seems all the men in parliament and on councils have been asked to undergo circumcision as part of a campaign to prevent the spread of HIV. Oooh ouch. Someone has been telling them it will reduce the spread of  AIDS and they should lead by example and have their foreskin chopped off. Hmm, maybe they just shouldn’t have unprotected sex?

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, That's Gotta Hurt

Equal Opportunity Gang

Oh my, seems Zimbabwe has a gang of women rapists terrorizing men. I know, it doesn’t seem right! But anywho it’s true, a gang of three women have been kidnapping, drugging and then raping men over the past year. The latest victim said he was offered a lift by these women and subsequently drugged. When he awoke, there he was stark naked with the women taking it in turns to rape him. He told police he passed out after the assault and was then dumped.Police haven’t a clue what the motive is behind the sex attacks but suspect it maybe for ritual purposes.

Psst Hmm, a loophole in Zimbabwean law means if the women are caught they won’t be charged with rape as it only applies to women victims.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

Oh About The Plane Crash

OK. here’s the thing, if you are going to have a plane accident safety drill at Zimbabwe’s Harare International Airport you might want to friggin inform some people, hmm, like the Civil Aviation Authority. Imagine the chaos after the Civil Aviation Authority head, David Chawota, told press “I can confirm that a 767 plane coming from London has had an accident at Harare airport,” Awkward. The simulated plane crash included a large plume of smoke, ambulances, emergency helicopters and distressed relatives. However Chawota managed to worm his way out of the embarrassing blunder by later announcing that misleading the media was part of the exercise “We wanted to see how the media would react,” Hmm!!!!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, How Embarrassing, Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!