Tag Archives: zoo

Bite Me

People can be so stupid that sometimes you wish bad things happen to stupid people. Unfortunately for this dumbass, the croc must have realized she was a friggin idiot and just snapped at her stupidity. Come on croc, you could have at least taken a chunk out of her foot.

PSST She has been banned from the zoo


Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Wildlife

Honey, I Dropped the Kid

Oh for crying out loud. A woman decided to dangle her two year old kid over the cheetah enclosure at a Cleveland zoo (what could possibly go wrong?). Whoopsie…he slipped. The child kaboomed 12ft to the bottom of the pit where the cheetahs just stared. Meanwhile, the horrified parents did the super hero act by jumping in for a rescue. In a kind “what now” scenerio the family waited to be rescued by head shaking staff. Zoo officials said the cheetahs didn’t attack because the whole episode scared the bejezzus out of them.


Filed under Whoops!

Your Zoo Sucks

A zoo in the People’s Park of Luohe thought they could pull the wool over their customer’s eyes by thinly disguising a Tibetan mastiff dog as an African lion. The only problem was, the damn thing barked.  Oh and just in case you thought that leopard looked weird…. it’s really a white fox. Hey, hang on I haven’t finished yet, that wolf … another dog. One appalled zoo goer said “They should at least use a husky to pretend to be a wolf”. Ouch.

Psst Way to mess with children’s heads. Daddy, can I buy that lion in the window?


Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Friggin Wildlife

Boo Baby Red Panda

Poor little critter got the beejezus scared out of him by an enormous welly boot . Silly little thing!!!


Filed under Friggin Japan, Friggin Wildlife

Three Komodo Dragons You Say?

OK people, feet up, three Komodo dragons have gone AWOL from an Indonesia zoo. These creatures are friggin vicious, deadly and run faster than Carl Lewis. Hello, toxic bacteria in their saliva!!!! Their friggin poison glands can knock you down like a ton of bricks and while you are in spasm on the ground paralyzed, they will feast on you. So if you see one it’s probably too late.


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wildlife

Kung Fu Panda

It looked like an enormous piece of bamboo. My Bad?

How friggin slow would you have to be to get bitten by a panda? I mean, hello? Don’t they just sit there on their lazy assed behinds chomping on bamboo for goodness sakes? Hmm, evidently not. Health and safety are friggin freaking after a panda, yes you heard me, a panda, bite and clawed at a zookeepers leg at a California zoo. Bai Yun, the bitch, attacked the keeper after she wandered out of her pad when someone forgot to secure the safety barrier.


Filed under Friggin Wildlife, That's Gotta Hurt

This Frog Will Need Counselling

OMG, you know I thought I’d seen just about everything, but Loons, this is seriously bizarre. What this chimp is doing with this frog is, well, friggin gross! Chimp 1, Frog 0…..


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross, Friggin Wildlife, Friggin Wrong, Well I Never

We Can Fit You In After The Hippo

Man dies after refusing to go to zoo for x-rayOh dearie me, a German man who weighed a whopping 230 kg (507lb) has died after refusing to pop down to the nearby zoo for an x-ray. Evidently Thomas Lessmann was a tad too fat to fit into a normal x-ray machine so his doctor referred him to the Hagenbeck Zoo. Humiliated, he refused to go and died 13 days later. That’s all kind of ugly really!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wrong, How Embarrassing, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never